My Sundown Cocktail

This must be the thousandth time this thought is seeping into my mind this evening.

“This face mask is unbearable!”

How I loved this park since I was a little girl! I used to chase benches here… Dogs… Butterflies…

Childhood!

Now,

I die to sit here on this bench with a drink in my hand, watching the evening settles.

I should have fixed myself a drink!

Here, early mists melt like ice cubes in my drink.

Melts.

But slow.

Glassy.

Misty.

Edges sparkling.

Check it out!

This evening, the park is my cocktail!

Burnt Orange!

Oh! the park lights! They are burning in shades of whiskey, aren’t they? And the Portia tree here. Shedding her leaves… Is it autumn already? No. Hah? Ah! It doesn’t matter. Hahhaha…

Okay! I still remember how to laugh!

Hmm. Twilight is retreating. See, the final sheets of hazy yellow leaving the park… Random fall of Portia leaves, like whirling mint leaves in my drink. And, of course, the mist!

God!!!! I miss my drink today.

Let me lean back, all the way up my head. Street light above me was always gentle. Looking into it is peace. Never burn my eyes.

Never.. ever!

See. The Portia branches dripping down the yellow light! Mesmerising!

Why aren’t I tensed?

I should be sweating, at least. No, my underarms aren’t smelling. Hmm!! I’m doing great!

But I should have fixed my drink… So unfortunate!

Ah! Sky is all black at last!

Wish I could remove my mask…

Is that sound of Footsteps? Isn’t that him?

Aw!! that usual thumping beneath my undies! On my breasts and my groin! How I crave him!!!

I should sit straight to see him, no?

Look! He already removed his mask! He is so impulsive! Never think twice. Just like when he slipped his hands inside my pants! Suddenly. For me, it was the first time. Ever!

How scared I was!

But it was ages ago… the ages we were together. And the ages we weren’t.

Now, this evening…

“Look… Aarthi! That… that was a mistake. I didn’t mean to…” He is explaining. But! He should not! I like him bold. He never makes mistakes!

“…. you know, long-distant relationships… I mean…Aarthi…”

Come on! You don’t need to do this, Nani…

“… we just lost control… me and Tanu…” He says.

“Nani… Nani… calm down… will you…”

Will he?

Could still feel his hands on my bare waist. The thumping again! Wish he kissed my neck right now! His warm breaths on my ears. GOD!!

“…Aarthii…” What is he? Whispering now?

“Come here. Give me your best hug! It’s been long…” I tell him.

I was craving for it.

His navel and my fingers used to play.

“… Aarthi… I…”

Ah! Now he is coming forward. Look how scared he is!

How strange!

“Close me in your hands, my love…” I tell him.

I’m getting wet already! I could feel that!

His embrace! Hmmm! How he smells!

His unusually shivering lips left working with mine and slowly moved downwards. He loves to work it near the deep neck of my kameez while I used to pet his hair.

This evening, I rested my hands over his shoulder close to his neck. His lips, still unusually shivering, working great. Turning me on. Hmmm!!! This is me… back in heaven!!!

With one quick jerk of my hands, I broke his neck…

Impulsive!

Just like his hands visited my slit for the first time.

My eyes are closed. It was the right instant!

I’m not tensed. Not scared. Not having second thoughts.

He submitted without a fight!

Quite unusual!

Street light above us dripped yellow down both of us. See, even his dead eyes dripped some yellow!

Now,

when I’m starting to leave,

the park becomes,

my empty wine glass…